Therapy diary - session one

So I had my first therapy session yesterday (not first ever, but first for a while). God that sounds so American! It went well. I liked the woman. We didn't get much beyond the basics of her finding out about me in the first session.

I'm actually starting to feel better these past few days despite work being stressful. I was thinking maybe three or four sessions would be enough. But she helped me to see that my behaviours and ways of thinking are pretty well embedded. I first suffered from anxiety 14 years ago and it's kept recurring since. This time I need to really get the tools to help make sure it doesn't return.

The therapist said one or two insightful things. She said I'm very self-aware. I said yes, and she said Maybe that's part of the problem. I think she's right. I do over analyse instead of just 'being'.

We also talked about the trauma of the sudden and deep onset of anxiety that first time when I was 21. It makes me really fearful that I will slip back into that somehow.

She also said something about how that first time it was caused by an uncertain future after university. Since then I've really tried to control uncertainty as much as I can.

I also by talking about them realised the very many good things I have going for me like supportive parents and bf.

So a good start. Next week we'll agree sown sort of plan for what my treatment should be. She talked about "at least 12" sessions. That seems like a lot especially at £90 a time. But I see it as an investment in the future.